There are many spiritual practices that are taught to help an individual to transcend into a higher octave of their being. Some request that we offer our service for the betterment of others. While others focus on faith with its ability to connect us to the higher source within ourselves. Most attempt to instill a moral discernment to live a life of mindfulness and grace to become better versions of ourselves. And still others teach a form of abstinence from the world either through avoiding bad habits or cultivating an inner peace through silent retreats within ourselves.
Each of these practices offers tools and pathways to gain a great understanding of our world and ourselves as we interact with it. One of the greatest spiritual practice comes not from being a better person, but learning to forgive other when they are not being such. It seems to be a golden rule that transcends darkness into light simply by releasing what is not wanted. It is the ability to step back and with a sense of grace admit what is, and then to take a step further into an act of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is many things at different times, but it is never an agreement that transgressions are acceptable or permissible. Forgiveness truly means to stand in the awareness of clarity where we no longer carry the burden of the wrong done to us. Whether an act is consciously done or not, the pain of being harmed by another feels the same. It stings with the same truth of hurt, betrayal or wickedness, as if consciously enacted.
When we step into forgiveness it is an act not to pardon the perpetrator as much as to claim our own purity. We cannot truly forgive another as their actions are written within their own hearts and that is where they must take action to change. We cannot change others only ourselves. We can lead by example and demonstrate resilience, but in the end each individual is responsible for their own thoughts, deeds, and actions.
The power to forgive comes from recognizing the truth within ourselves. The truth that we are worthy of respect, honesty, love and compassion. When someone harms us intentionally or not, it is important to be clear about it. If possible, conveying to the one who caused the pain that we are not feeling good about what happened. Sometimes this is not possible, either they are already aware and chose not to listen because they do not care, or because they are in so much pain themselves that they simply are unavailable to anyone.
Regardless of who causes the issue, requesting forgiveness, is self-work. We can proceed to blame others, stating the injustice or the lack of caring, but it will not change until we let it go in ourselves to forgive. When we forgive, we reclaim our inner peace and relinquish the gift we did not ask to receive.
In relationships, we must reclaim a space of inner peace to find our wholeness again before we can continue. By integrating experiences that require a certain sense of forgiveness, we learn find for ourselves. We can discover, if there is any truth to what had transpired from our own perspective. As we reflect these experiences, we may find insights that may offer positive growth mindset, even if the experience was not positive. Through this awareness we gather a stronger sense of who we are and who we are not.
Some experiences are truly about letting go. They evolve from a natural progression of development that reveals a crossroads within a relationship, one that can no longer be travelled together. Others reveal deeper issues that offer opportunities to grow closer through genuine communication and heart felt awareness of the roles each has played in the experience. We are all learning, sometimes together and other times separately. It takes a clear mind to determine which is best for ourselves.
The heart centered awareness that each of carries is the easiest way to discern what is best for each of us. If something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t. If we feel that we are not capable of forgiveness that is also a message that something deeper is lurking within the shadow that needs to be contemplated by bringing it into the light of understanding. This process takes time to gently heal through self-care of the wounds that are still flaring before any form of reconciliation can occur.