There are many spiritual practices that are taught to help an individual to transcend into a higher octave of their being. Some request that we offer our service for the betterment of others. While others focus on faith with its ability to connect us to the higher source within ourselves. Most attempt to instill a moral discernment to live a life of mindfulness and grace to become better versions of ourselves. And still others teach a form of abstinence from the world either through avoiding bad habits or cultivating an inner peace through silent retreats within ourselves.
Each of these practices offers tools and pathways to gain a great understanding of our world and ourselves as we interact with it. One of the greatest spiritual practice comes not from being a better person, but learning to forgive other when they are not being such. It seems to be a golden rule that transcends darkness into light simply by releasing what is not wanted. It is the ability to step back and with a sense of grace admit what is, and then to take a step further into an act of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is many things at different times, but it is never an agreement that transgressions are acceptable or permissible. Forgiveness truly means to stand in the awareness of clarity where we no longer carry the burden of the wrong done to us. Whether an act is consciously done or not, the pain of being harmed by another feels the same. It stings with the same truth of hurt, betrayal or wickedness, as if consciously enacted.
When we step into forgiveness it is an act not to pardon the perpetrator as much as to claim our own purity. We cannot truly forgive another as their actions are written within their own hearts and that is where they must take action to change. We cannot change others only ourselves. We can lead by example and demonstrate resilience, but in the end each individual is responsible for their own thoughts, deeds, and actions.
The power to forgive comes from recognizing the truth within ourselves. The truth that we are worthy of respect, honesty, love and compassion. When someone harms us intentionally or not, it is important to be clear about it. If possible, conveying to the one who caused the pain that we are not feeling good about what happened. Sometimes this is not possible, either they are already aware and chose not to listen because they do not care, or because they are in so much pain themselves that they simply are unavailable to anyone.
Regardless of who causes the issue, requesting forgiveness, is self-work. We can proceed to blame others, stating the injustice or the lack of caring, but it will not change until we let it go in ourselves to forgive. When we forgive, we reclaim our inner peace and relinquish the gift we did not ask to receive.
In relationships, we must reclaim a space of inner peace to find our wholeness again before we can continue. By integrating experiences that require a certain sense of forgiveness, we learn find for ourselves. We can discover, if there is any truth to what had transpired from our own perspective. As we reflect these experiences, we may find insights that may offer positive growth mindset, even if the experience was not positive. Through this awareness we gather a stronger sense of who we are and who we are not.
Some experiences are truly about letting go. They evolve from a natural progression of development that reveals a crossroads within a relationship, one that can no longer be travelled together. Others reveal deeper issues that offer opportunities to grow closer through genuine communication and heart felt awareness of the roles each has played in the experience. We are all learning, sometimes together and other times separately. It takes a clear mind to determine which is best for ourselves.
The heart centered awareness that each of carries is the easiest way to discern what is best for each of us. If something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t. If we feel that we are not capable of forgiveness that is also a message that something deeper is lurking within the shadow that needs to be contemplated by bringing it into the light of understanding. This process takes time to gently heal through self-care of the wounds that are still flaring before any form of reconciliation can occur.
Within forgiveness we can clear away the feelings that linger, yet still feel unsettled within the relationship. This points to a deeper truth that real forgiveness has yet to be achieved. We may never like the person who has harmed us. Yet, the power of forgiveness is such that it can render our feelings towards them into a more neutral state where we no longer feel triggered.
Many families will take the initial steps of forgiving while still harboring a disdainful perspective of the other individual. This is especially true within abusive relationships. However, carrying this type of heart ache will never heal until we can at last release ourselves from the bondage of these perspectives. Again, we cannot change others only ourselves. And through our own diligent choice to actively release what is not serving us are we free to truly forgive.
Forgiveness is more than clearing away the burden of painful memories, or instilling a new healthy awareness about the situation. It is the spiritual power to transcend that grants resilience in the knowledge that you are already whole and unscathed. What does this mean to be whole and unstained by other’s actions? How do we live in this type of awareness?
It means being grounded in the awareness that our true being always dwells in purity. We acknowledge being centered in our heart awareness with a sense of inner peace, solid and unwavering. We have nothing to defend as we are already in peace. If, we maintain this awareness we become able to be peaceful even when under attack. We perceive and acknowledge that what transpires in outward relationships is a reflection of what the other individual is bringing into form as an example of their own inner space. This creates the ability to forgive before any wrong can take place.
There may be times when we are not as clear and peaceful as we would hope. Perhaps we are the one who has a cloudy interior that is being projected outwardly in a way that causes harm to another. This is another opportunity to take stock of our inner world and contemplate why our shadow has grown emboldened through its hidden agenda to protect our own inner wounding.
Self-forgiveness is a potent medicine. It requires the same realization that we are pure through our awareness first and foremost, above all other truths we entertain. With the understanding that we have a pristine space of compassion that is willing to grow through hard feelings and misconceptions regardless of lapses in judgment. We mature to comprehend that we are capable of more by being less critical, willing to risk exposing potential weakness in favor of growth.
Forgiveness requires a measure of confidence and trust in the ability to be as we were born, full of promise and purely open to discovery. Failing from this natural grace is not an issue so long as the path back to ourselves is taken with clear understanding that we are here to learn from our experiences. We live and interact with each other. All of us are capable of this amount of grace, yet it requires a diligent attitude to pay attention to our inner world and how we are reacting from it in the outer world.
There is little need to communicate with another, if they themselves have not found a place of peace from which to meet you. The forgiveness you offer to them will not stir the mirrored reflection because the have forgotten their own inner purity and cannot talk of forgiveness for themselves or others. The wisdom to practice forgiveness in any form will not be a futile, for it can help to lead us through the observations in the world.
Practicing forgiveness even in small things can help to cultivate it on a much larger scale. This is because as we cultivate an attitude of forgiveness we are essentially growing a space of inner peace within ourselves. How does it look to practice forgiveness in small things? By releasing frustration while on a tedious phone call with an uncooperative business associate. By taking a deep breath and allowing the self-important individual who just cut you off on the highway or in line at the grocery store. These are just two example where we have this type of opportunity.
As we practice cultivating a sense of inner peace we learn that forgiveness becomes second nature. We become so aware of the good feeling of peace that we natural reject any intrusion by way of forgiveness. When this practice becomes well rooted within ourselves, we find it easier to forgive bigger transgression with similar ease. It is not because we become ambivalent to the harshness offered, but more resilient in our presence of mind that reminds us of what we will carry until we do forgive.
There will be times when forgiving another will seem to be insurmountable as their actions to us seem truly reprehensible. This is a moment to reflect. There is no amount of force that can make forgiveness appear. It happens in its own time at its own pace to reclaim a measure of peace within. Do not add to the harshness of bad experiences with an unrelenting brooding.
By taking small steps toward releasing the burden, eventually peace will return and with it, forgiveness. Feeling awful is the caution given in request for resolution. Ignoring heavy feeling only cast them into a deeper shadow that creates a bigger wound, one that is sure to devour all inner peace eventually. So being mindful of ourselves is crucial to avoid falling into a pit of unforgiveness and toxicity.
Claiming a sense of inner peace always comes with acknowledging that it is already present. Remembering that we have a choice to be peaceful opens the door to be able to forgive. When we allow our minds to focus on peacefulness, our hearts open to forgiveness. It offers a sense of freedom that little else can. Once we have cultivated a true sense of forgiveness we can move into the world more resilient and filled with a courage to help others do the same.
I encourage you today to cultivate forgiveness in small ways to activate the power of forgiveness. It is an amazing gift to be able to free oneself from burdens offered through life’s journey through the simple practice of forgiveness. I encourage you to claim this power for yourself. With the power of forgiveness, we gain a world of peace.