We often look outwardly to find a special person who will reflect back to us the love we seek to receive. We are given this idea through fairytales, love stories and romance novels that love happens almost magically when we meet another, lifting us up to feel buoyant as though we are capable of walking among the clouds and stars above. It is true that what we claim as love is often only a form of attraction, where love’s potential is still hidden within waiting to be unwrapped and discovered.
We are eager to experience what we are shown in movies, a love that blasts back to us from another who’s set aflame with an inner desire to be next to us. We long to be accepted, understood, sought after in a way that will confirm we are special and worthy, and most importantly not alone. We can find ourselves feeling the lost of having this confirmation when those we spend our time with do not return our kindness or consideration, and when that happens it rocks our inner bearings to question what we’re missing, or even, what is wrong with us.
It is not possible to find love reflected to us from the outside when we have not cultivated it within us. We must learn to love ourselves with a passionate gentleness that values who we are regardless of it being validated by others, only then will we find someone who can see what we have to offer. This is because when we see who we are, valuing ourselves as worthy and lovable we no longer accept the false promises made by another. We are already giving love and appreciation to ourselves and can feel the difference of pretending. We learn that to settle for an illusion robs us of the truth we have been given directly through our knowledge that we are lovable and cherished already.
So much time is spent looking for the right person to validate, connect and match us, when really we have to look at what we are first. Many people change themselves depending on who they are dating, in order to make it work, to fit the relationship and therefore claim they have love. They are robbing themselves of real love. They cannot see that they are masquerading not for the benefit of what others will think, but are lost to themselves until they can accept themselves first.
Real love is a force that arrives through an open heart and dare I say, a spiritually conscious mind. It is a presence that bestows compassion, understanding, and a light that evades the darkness not because its warm and cuddly, but because its strength and determination is unyielding in its own truth. We cannot fake love. We can parade around trying to act it out, but it never fools anyone least of all ourselves.
To truly love, whether its someone else, ourselves, or a higher force, we must linger in the heart space of the soul to unleash an acceptance without resistance to be present. Through a witnessing consciousness we embark on a journey that leads by love itself, teaching us through experience what strength, belief, and connection can build. We find that we experience more than we could create for ourselves, because its limitless. Love places us in a field of permission to give without a need to receive, because love has already made us full.
We can desired to be loved, but we cannot claim it through relationships, especially those built by our own efforts, even the best intentions will fail, if love is not authentically invited. We can have affection, respect and even guilt that prepares us to open our hearts and become attracted to another, yet love will evade that relationship, if it’s not allowed to grow from within organically.
Love is a spiritual pathway that many use to find a higher comprehension of conscious expression, often referred to as enlightenment through the path of devotion or bhakti yoga, to immerse ourselves in the love for the divine. Even in this practice we may miss what love has to offer, if we have not cultivate a sense of inviting love into our hearts as a means to be a conduit for love to move through us. Many practice saying they love God, but if they have not opened themselves up to be a vehicle for love to move through them and into the world, then they are not closer or more successful than any other suitor pining for a reward they’ve not earned.
When we love another truly, we are in a sense letting love come through us out to them, allowing it to be flowing through them back to us, forming a circuit of active energy that is love’s true expression. It flows, and surrounds, protects and guides, it’s a mystery that we are actively participating, joyously surrendering to it for